I've had a couple of difficult days emotionally but I think I am through the worst of it today. As always (since lockdown) I started the day with yoga, 'Day 5 - Soften' of the 30 day challenge called 'Home'. I feel like I'm getting stronger, particularly in 'plank'. My arms are also feeling more muscly!
I decided to spend my time today doing newspaper collage over an old canvas that I had bought from the charity shop I worked in last year. It was a pair that had been donated from a takeaway shop opposite that was being refurbished. I bought both, mainly due to their size because I knew I didn't have anything of that scale to work on for the Project. I intended today just to cover over the image with torn up newspaper and then decide what I wanted to do with the canvas afterwards. My options were either to a) paint over it and create a fresh 'blank canvas' or b) turn the newspaper collage into a feature itself.
I never like to waste paint, glue or paper when creating so on this occasion, once I'd covered over the original image I then had quite a bit of newspaper still wet with glue to use up. I used my intuition to extend the image in one direction, then another and another. Having completed this and used up all the papers, I couldn't help noticing the semblance of a figure; an armpit, shoulder, arm, neck, back and more. Once seen, I couldn't un-see this so it has kind of forced a subject/focus for this piece that I wouldn't personally have chosen otherwise. In truth, if it had been my intention to create a newspaper collaged figure I would have sketched out the shape and made it a much more convincing figure, a darned sight better than this one! As it turned out organically, it had moments when R thought it looked fish-like and when E thought it could be a duck! I toyed with the idea of it being a sea/landscape but in the end I felt it warranted being developed into the figure it clearly wanted to be. This hasn't been easy for me as I am a perfectionist and this is far from perfect due to the nature of it's creation. I have struggled with the second arm and the visible hand. I have added a hat but the neck and face as they naturally occurred are not at all how I would have created them with purpose. As I have left it tonight it is in need of quite a bit of work. I've sketched in some lines for me to work to tomorrow and hopefully I can do some background work also to help shape the figure more into something I am happy with. As it is now, I am not sure that this will be #21 as I wasn't intending to start a new piece today, it just kind of happened. If I can't source the materials I need to complete this in the coming days then it will have to be put away and brought out once the non-essential shops have opened later this month.
This lunchtime I took a break to spend some time with E who has been desperate to paint my nails. They are in very poor condition but she didn't seem to care. She wanted to try out some creative ideas and techniques but needed me to partake as she had run out of nails to experiment on! F has been happy to be worked on in the past but has recently been concerned about being seen out on our walks with nail varnish on! I was given the choice of nails themed around my favourite animal or favourite fruit. I went for fruit (strawberry) which was probably a bad decision. I always opt for pale, subtle nail colour. Red is as far from my normal preference as E could get! She had a great time though and did a great job!
Yesterday I experimented with a watercolour on an old book page. I rescued the book from a bag of rubbish during my family camping trip last August (it was my Stepdad's). I'm not overly happy with the result but it did serve the purpose of lifting my mood and distracting me from my thoughts. I imagine it will be used as part of a mixed media piece later on in the project when I am able to photocopy the original (E really loves it and has forbidden me from cutting it or tearing it up until a copy has been taken!) I am always so hard on myself about what is and isn't good enough, especially for the project. Hopefully tomorrow I will find some more ease in my creative endeavours. Fingers crossed...
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