I've had a bad couple of days. I started #21 the day before yesterday (just the prep, gluing newspaper onto the card) then yesterday marked out the area to become the newspaper collage section of this piece. #21 is to be my Green collage. I had planned to do purple next but with green being a more gentle hue, I felt it suited my mood better this week.
I had terrible pains yesterday associated with my upcoming consultation in July. I held off from medication and just used my heat pack on my left lower back. I'd also tried several yoga vids and a meditation which got me off to a good start but I was really struggling with pain and anxiety going into the afternoon. I needed to eat as well. I was probably just a bit under the weather and not giving my body enough of what it needed. It made doing my art a really difficult process though, I didn't enjoy it at all.
Today was a bit better; the pain had moved higher up my back and I'd developed a nauseous feeling. I persevered with my art, working on the green newspaper section and didn't stop until I'd finished it, despite the fact that I felt awful and wasn't gaining any pleasure from it at all. All this physical discomfort is, I am sure, why the process was taking so long; I kept cutting pieces to size then misplacing them or forgetting where I'd intended them to go! I really hope I get more enjoyment from this in the coming days as I attempt to finish this piece.
The meditation I've been doing is amazing. I never believed I could meditate before, mainly because my mind never stops but this has taken me to much deeper levels of relaxation than I've ever experienced before (whilst meditating). It is a Yoga with Adriene one called 'Meditation for Mental Balance and Grounding'.
The yoga for today was 'Day 10 - Ground', 'Lower Back Love' and '10 minute Wind Down'.
Since lockdown and starting my daily yoga practice it has been much easier to notice how I'm doing emotionally. I always know now when I'm really struggling because I find myself tearful during or despite my yoga and sadly that happened again today. I really hope I manage to get back on track tomorrow both with the art and physically and emotionally in myself.
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